Review: Super Hexagon – Zen at the Speed of Way Too Fast

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So you’re this triangle, right? You move left and right around a spinning hexagon. Pretty cool. But wait, what’s this? A myriad of patterned two-dimensional shapes rushing forward to instantly smash you against your beloved hexagon? This simply won’t do. The brilliant solution? Avoid said shapes.

Here’s a run-down of the facts.

- There are six levels. Hexagon, Hexagoner, Hexagonest, and a “hyper” version of each, unlockable by surviving the corresponding level for at least 60 seconds. Easy, right?

- WRONG. Just to give you a heads up on how screwed you are for trying to play this game, the first level’s difficulty is listed as “hard.” That’s right, kiddo. No easy, no normal. The difficulties are hard, harder, hardest… hardester… I’m not making this up.

- The only controls, literally, are left, right, and spacebar for the hundreds of times you die and start over. It couldn’t be more simple to play.

- The music is some of the most wonderful chiptune I’ve ever heard, composed by the Irish “Chipzel”.

- The price tag is a whopping three dollars. Yup.

- This game is stupid addicting if you’re not easily discouraged. If you are easily discouraged, well… prepare to quit. Allow me to pull stats straight from the Steam achievements statistics page for you:

45% of players have beaten the first level, presented in the above video. That’s not too bad, right? One out of every two people that buy Super Hexagon make progress. Cool.
Just under 20% of people have beaten the second level. I daresay I feel pretty good for having done so.

But what’s this?

Only FOUR PERCENT of players have beaten the third level, and that number just goes down as you look at the hyper difficulties. The final stage has only been completed by 0.9% of players. That’s right, -under- one percent.

If you can feel indignance stirring within you at the rising challenge, you should already be buying Super Hexagon. For $3, it’s simply too wonderful, challenging and addicting without being stressful. If you’ve been scared off from the idea, it’s a great game – but skipping on it is probably for the best. Oh, and if you get a chance, go curse at @terrycavanagh for creating this horrible game. I can’t seem to put it down.

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